experienced very little focused direction in my life between the time of
my losing regular, (meaningful) employment and my discovery of the power
I quickly came to the realisation that I needed to introduce a lot more
compassion, not only into my clumsy attempts to heal others, but into my
life as a whole. Whatever good one may speak of the British army, it must
be admitted that the curriculum does leave its members a trifle short
changed when it comes to compassion, and in this regard, the Lancers were
I was giving this situation some considerable amount of thought and began
involving myself in a skill I had not practiced since I had left the Far
East; meditation. I joined a meditation group in one of local Churches; an
Anglican Church named Saint Georges, it is one of the older established
places of worship in Guelph.
It happened that, during my very
first session, one of the participants was suffering from a very bad cough
and, of course, this disturbed the concentration of the group. The group
leader knew of my ability to heal and came to me saying, (almost ordering
me!);” Would you please ‘fix’ that cough so we can all concentrate
on what we are doing”.
“Only if she were to ask
me,” I replied.
I subscribe to the belief that the
person must have faith in my ability in order for my ministrations to be
effective, this is not always the case of course, but I find it easier
when I have the recipient in an agreeable frame of mind.
The session was halted and, there in
the chancel of the Church, I healed the ladies cough. The following week
there was another person turned up with a request to be healed of some
malady, and again, I was able to help. It
became common in the ensuing weeks for someone to turn up at the Church
and request my help. I began to think of setting up a special time for
just healing and prayer, but in the event I never got around to it.
to me that I could transpose myself mentally and heal this unfortunate
person who was patiently waiting for me to finish what I was doing...
All had gone well until, one week; a
lady came along, who, along with other problems, could hardly walk. She
asked for my help, but for some reason I was feeling a bit cranky just at
that moment. I was anxious to start meditating and this healing stuff was
getting in my way. (I’m a Yorkshire man, what can I say!).
I helped her to the front of the church and laid her down on a pew. Using
pillows and a couple of coats, I made her as comfortable as I could, and
told her I would attend to her after my meditation.
She readily accepted this situation
and I went to the back of the Nave where I began to meditate. Whilst going
quite deep into a meditative state, it occurred to me that I could
transpose myself mentally and heal this unfortunate person who was
patiently waiting for me to finish what I was doing, and moreover, do this
without waiting until the end of the session. Even
as this thought came into my mind, I mentally pictured myself standing
over her and moving my hands over her body, as I did this I heard the
church bells chiming eleven o’clock.
Shortly afterwards, at the end of our
session, I had just stood up feeling a trifle bewildered, I was about to
speak of my strange experience with the group leader, when the sick person
stood up and came walking towards me without any help whatsoever.
I just had time to say, “She is
about to tell us that she was healed as the bells chimed the hour”.
She approached, and said, “Brian I don’t need your help now, I have
just experienced a miracle, an Angel appeared and all my pain left me, and
look! I am able to walk!”.
“Tell me what time that was”, I
requested, barely able to trust my senses.
“The bells were just chiming eleven o’clock” came her reply!
The following week as I entered the church for meditation I was met at the
door and informed that the minister had requested that I never again enter
his church, he did not approve of my practices!
What would Jesus have said to that, I wondered?
I did not
realise at that time that we are all dying, right from the day we are
born! Some of us just take a bit longer than others!
This, together with the
Tai Chi Chuan, helped me to adjust to the trauma of being unemployable. I
began casting around for more ways to get deeper into my inner self, when,
in early 1995, my eye caught a small notice in the newspaper to the effect
that the local Hospice movement was running a qualifying course for
volunteers. Just the thing, I thought. If dying people don’t know about
compassion, and the lack of, who would? I
did not realise at that time that we are all dying, right from the day we
are born! Some of us just take a bit longer than others!
I applied for a place on the course
and quite firmly advised the co-ordinator that I had no intention of being
a volunteer, all I required, I insisted, was the insights that I believed
the course would bring me, and so it was agreed.
From my point of view the course was an unqualified success. I met and
mixed with, some of the most compassionate, warm hearted people that it is
possible to meet, some of the classes were quite emotional, and all were
instructional. I was unsurprised that one of the instructors was that
redoubtable person, my principal Therapeutic Touch instructor, Evelyn
I received insights that I imagine
would be difficult to receive from any other source, and, as per our
agreement, at the end of the course, there was no pressure for me to
continue on as a volunteer. Of course it was not to be. It never has been
In late July I received a phone call from Barbara, the co-ordinator of
Hospice. Before she got past her greeting to me I straight away reminded
her of the agreement that I was not to be considered a volunteer.
“I do realise that Brian” she said,” I was very hesitant to phone
you, but, we have a very unusual situation where the patient’s family
are keen for him to receive Therapeutic Touch and he does not want a woman
fussing around him, he is in a lot of pain and we know T.T. helps
“You are the only man I know who is qualified to help.” She continued.
“Forget it” I said,
“OK,” said Barbara, “I will just tell his mother that we don’t
have anyone available”.
That piqued my interest. “What do
you mean, ‘Mother’?” I asked. I was making the mistake of assuming
that only, (very) old people died.
“Well, this guy is only nineteen years old and has a brain tumour; he
has only six months to live and his mom has seen that T.T. helps.”
“I will come over right away and you can give me the details”, I was
humbled enough to reply.
am I laid here...and you are there, perfectly fine and so much older?”...perhaps
it was because they had been addicted to cigarettes, and I had not.
I became regularly involved in
comforting of the hospice clients who were suffering a terminal disease,
and it was a surprise to me how many were younger than I was. Quite a few
were not averse to pointing it out either!
am I laid here at age forty five, (or whatever) and you are there,
perfectly fine and so much older?”. I did not have the heart to answer
that; (in most cases) perhaps it was because they had been addicted to
cigarettes, and I had not.
Another surprise was the amount of
comfort I received from both the patient and the immediate family.
One of the lessons during the Hospice course was to the effect that one
must keep aloof from becoming emotionally involved, but I found that
impossible. Indeed it is contradictory, if I were to be of use, I worked
out, I had to jump into the situation ‘all the way’, I still think
that to be effective in anything that one must experience everything that
the situation demands.
There was one lady who was in her late eighties to whom I had formed a
very deep attachment, she shared many memories of her youth with me and I
felt as though I had known her all my life. When she died I was so
distraught that her family gathered around me and gave me comfort.
They were comforting me after the death of their mother!
It was supposed to be the other way around!
“There is no
charge for this Brian, my friend has heard about you and wishes to make it
Another amazing thing, (to me) during
this period of searching and enlightenment, was how odd happenings came
about that were to my benefit. Two examples of this came at different
times but were both equally miraculous.
There was a weekend workshop being run by a famous American lady named
Cathleen Fanslow - Brunjes who taught about dying and bereavement, she
called this ‘Thanatology’ which, I suppose would fit the bill’
Thanos being a root of death and dying. The cost was prohibitive to me. I
whined about it a bit and then put it out of my mind, there is no point
dwelling on things one cannot control.
Two days before the workshop I
received a phone call from a stranger who said that she had heard of my
desire to attend this workshop and that she had a friend who had a ticket
but was unable to go.
“I would love to buy it” I answered, “But I just cannot afford
“There is no charge for this Brian, my friend has heard about you and
wishes to make it a gift,”
I was speechless.
“A ride has been arranged for you and all you have to do is accept”.
It was one of the most emotional
workshops I have ever experienced, and it was not until some many months
later that I was able discover, not my benefactor, but the intermediary,
and thank her for the gift. She said it was the will of God.
I never did learn to whom the ticket
reached the point where I was unable to hear what could be the most
important words of anyone’s life: their last words.
The second occasion was similar;
there was a weekend workshop and seminar session being run by the T.T.
network, again I was whining away because I could not afford the cost.
About two days before the deadline to register, an envelope containing
cash to the exact amount of the event was pushed under our apartment door
whilst Val and I were out grocery shopping.
I continued in this manner for over seven years, my hearing, already
impaired due to the guns and radios of military service, particularly the
short wave radios, had reached the point where I was unable to hear what
could be the most important words of anyone’s life: their last
words. It was with deep regret I felt obliged to resign from the task of
easing the way for the final journey.
I did manage to continue with Hospice
for eighteen months or so, helping out with the day program and leading
groups around a Labyrinth, but I realised this was not for me and I left.
During all this time I was teaching a couple of groups of senior citizens
how to perform Tai Chi Chuan, and I was receiving a great deal of pleasure
from enhancing the lives of some very deserving people, but, regrettably,
due to the onset of the dizziness and nausea, (plus other disagreeable
symptoms) which accompanied my affliction, I had to stop that too.
“OK God, you
got me here, if I am to do your will I am going to need some help. You are
going to have to do something”
The words; ‘Physician
heal thyself’, started to come into focus once more. I knew I could heal
others, but get rid of asthma, arthritis, rheumatism? Why not?
The idea came about when a good friend, and member of Hospice, asked me if
I would go along with her to give a treatment to a Hospice patient she was
attending who had a cancer on the lobe of her ear.
I was still allergic to cats, dogs and myriad other things at the time,
and I recall stepping into the sick persons apartment and immediately
having a very bad asthma attack; they had a couple of cats and I had
walked right into them.
I returned to the corridor
accompanied by my friend and, gasping for breath, without any thought of
reaching for my medication, or indeed of anything else, I just prayed to
God saying out loud; “OK God, you got me here, if I am to do your will I
am going to need some help. You are going to have to do something”.
Incredibly the asthma immediately disappeared!
I re-entered the apartment where I
successfully completed my healing routine and the cancer disappeared.
Afterwards as my friend and I walked
down to her car she said as how she had never heard anyone pray in such a
demanding tone, nor had she ever imagined anything to match such an
occurrence, it was a real a miracle, and, I had to admit, I was quite
shaken by it too. As we reached her car I started an asthma attack. There
was a cat resting under the car!
I had a revelation whereby I knew I
had to take my own health into my own hands, and when I reached home I
commenced a program of going into deep meditation, and, at the same time,
wave my arms over my body as if I were practicing T.T. on another person.
Just, in fact, as if one were practicing Chi Gong. To-day I have not a
trace of asthma, and I am able to practice Tai Chi whenever I feel like
it, usually three times a week.
I am now firmly
convinced that the Religious movements of today, and yesterday, were
created for the aggrandizement and power of the various types of
This whole period convinced me that
there truly is a God, a creator of everything inside and outside of the
Universe. Nothing else makes sense to me. Even more, I am now firmly
convinced that the Religious movements of today, and yesterday, were
created for the aggrandizement and power of the various types of
priesthoods. I have proved, to myself at least, that the power of prayer
is available to all. There
is no need to approach God through a whole series of rites and ceremonies.
If you think of it, this is what both Jesus and Mohammad, (plus many
others) taught, isn’t it?
I started to beg the question as to
why the Christians of medieval times hid the stories of Jesus which are
there for all to read in the Koran.
Who created the so called, ‘Dark ages’ and why?
How much of the ministry of Jesus has been hidden for political purposes?
How much of the ministry of Mohammed has been altered to suit the
political aspirations of the ayatollahs?
Today, (February 2004) as I rapidly
approach late middle age, I have decided that I do not wish to know the
true answers; they would get in the way of my perception of reality! There
is much more fun, and enrichment, in searching!
I feel I should point out here that I believe it is the bodies own
auto immune system that actually either heals, or adapts to any
unfavourable bodily health, and that all I, or anyone else can do is
to trigger that automatic response.